GDI!

I'm somewhat in distress ever since Tuesday.

Tuesday afternoon, around 5pm. We were told that the announcement of the next officers of DANUM will be held on Saturday, Feb. 25. Since there were no classes, it did not push through.

All week long, I was thinking.. "I won't get it.. I won't get it.." and I had a few reasons why I didn't think I'd get it

• 90% of the people did not vote for me when they were asked who they wanted to be president
• I failed in showing that I was good enough to be president
• Others were probably better than me during interviews and such
• My project proposal for the GA was a stupid idea (the theme pissed me off.. so I didn't really give too much effort)

Well that's all I can think of right now..

anyways..

So, these past few days, I've been thinking about "what-if's"

and how my speech would go (if given a chance)

WHAT IF I WAS MADE PRESIDENT

I would have had a speech prepared

"Salamat, mga opisyal ng DANUM sa pagkakataong ibinigay ninyo sa akin. Alam kong marami sa inyong ang tumututol na ako'y maging Pangulo ng organisasyong ito, ngunit ito'y narito na. Kalimutan na lamang natin ang ating nakaraan at tayo'y sumulong sa pagpapaunlad ng ating organisasyon, ating kurso, ating departamento at ating unibersidad"

or

"Salamat, mga opisyal ng DANUM sa pagkakataong ibinigay ninyo sa akin. Ngunit, ako'y nababahala na hindi ko matupad ang tungkulin ko bilang Pangulo ng organisasyon kung kaya't hindi ko ito tatanggapin. Ayon sa aking kaibigan sa ibang organisasyon, ang kanilang prof org ang dahilan kung bakit marami sa kanila ang nag-aaway-away. Ayokong madagdagan ang kung ano mang alitan ko sa aking mga kamag-aral. Kung kaya't maraming salamat, ngunit ako'y tumatanggi sa posisyong ito."

WHAT IF I WAS NOT MADE PRESIDENT

I'd most probably just quit.. no speeches and such. tell them that I don't want it..

I should explain the situation a bit more.. but I'm too tamad right now.. LOLOLOLOL

YOU DON'T FUCKIN' UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL

Everytime I'm in that fucking classroom
everytime na kasama ko kayo
parang feeling ko lahat kayo may galit sakin

WHY?

I don't understand.
After all I've done
I've always had your back when you were in trouble
I had your back when you needed
and I never ask for anything in return..
Pero sana man lang tinatrato niyo ako na parang kaibigan, hindi kaaway..

mano ba naman yung sabihin sakin na dalawa ang irereport natin
simpleng text lang.. "Sean, irereport rin natin yung isang readings"
BAKIT HINDI NIYO YUN MAGAWA?
BAKIT KAILANGAN DURING THE DAY OF THE SUPPOSED REPORTING NIYO SASABIHIN

YOU WERE IN THE TAMBAYAN FOR ONE FUCKIN' HOUR
YOU EVEN OPENED THE PPT IN FRONT OF MY FACE
AND YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL ME NA REPORTING NATIN YUN?
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU??

I always thought that I would be welcome with you guys.. that no matter what happens, you'd be my friends
I guess I was wrong..
you'll all leave me hanging

WELL FUCK YOU ALL

I'll only ever be second best

水

I'm learning a lot online...

but what I really need is a teacher

someone who can confirm if what I'm doing is right..

although I know that with these things, it's mostly intuition..

水

I've only recently learned that I'm a water type. It makes a lot of sense, but I still think that I'm partially wind. I don't know. It just feels that way.

I've also recently learned that water types may or may not be empaths.

What is an empath? Well to put it simply, it's a person who has the ability to sense emotion from any object, living or otherwise. It works through a sort of wavelength the soul projects which can then be felt by an empath.

I have a feeling that I am an empath. Not a practiced one, but when someone has strong feelings about something, I think I can sense them.

Just a few days ago, I was with a group of friends and I was really bothered by something. I was fine before I met up with them, but something gave off this negative vibe that just made me uncomfortable. I wanted to excuse myself, but I decided to stay anyways. Then the next day, it happened again. This time I'm less sure of what the cause was, but it could either have been because of someone's emotion or the ring I tried on that day.

BBC Sherlock Season 2

PUTANGINA LANG..

I can't handle these emotions..

holy crap on a stick...

I don't know anymore...

RAARRGGHHH

Glad to know you don't miss me.

If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you then it's meant to be

Personally, I don't believe in this quote..

If you love something enough, why would you let it go? If it were me I'd fight for it no matter what. It is only when the other person has given up that I lose hope.

I have almost always stuck up to my friends no matter what. Even when they've considered me their enemy, I still worry and care for them. It's partially because I have not lost hope that maybe someday, things that have happened will blow over.

Which is why I'm happy that some of my enemies have become my friends again. Sure, we might not be as close as we used to be, but at least I can sleep soundly that I have made one less enemy just because I didn't give up.

"Forgive and forget" ika nga..

The thing about that quote though is that I agree with it.. and yet I disagree with it..

Forgiveness is essential to friendship turned enemies.. but forgetting is a tough cookie. Forget what the person did to you, forget the pain it felt when he/she did the act, but do not forget what has been done nor should you forget the pain you felt.

Confusing?

Think of it this way, the only way you can forgive someone fully is when you forget that the person did something to hurt you.

As I was once told by my teacher "The sin is in the act, not the person itself"

Maturity

Maturity is something that cannot be measured. So knowing that a person is mature can be very subjective and therein lies the problem.

I used to think that I was really mature just because I could curse. I thought I was mature because I knew what dildos, handjobs, rimming and terms similar to that meant. In some way, that is a step towards maturity, but that isn't all it is.

Maturity, for me, is knowing how to handle things without needing the help of others. Maturity is being able to see things clearly for what it is and not just what it shows to be. Maturity is when we grow up and realize that we're not kids anymore and we have to stop acting like one.

I'm not saying we should let go of things. Maturity is not letting go of being young. It is not letting go of being the kid you really are. What it is is a drive that pushes you to be better than who you are right now. Why do we laugh at our younger selves? It's because we thought so highly of ourselves then, but looking back, we were nothing.

I cannot say that I am mature enough for my age. There are things I do not understand about life. There are lots of things I still need to learn.

What I'm trying to say is that, sometimes, no matter how mature we think we are, we could be wrong.

I need an epiphany

I am afraid

I don't know what I should choose

If I talk to anyone, they'd be biased about it

Choosing the first one seems selfish

but the second one isn't what I want

People deserve this more than I do

I only believe I can do it

but I don't even know if I can